Guilt
by xLessxThanx3x
Summary: Kurt tells Blaine that he's transferring in, guilt over not being "brave" overwhelming him. All the while, Blaine feels overwhelmed by guilt that his insistence on "courage" caused for everything in his life to fall apart. Angst beginning, fluffy end


**A/N: Sorry, this was just a literally plot bunny that jumped around in my head. If you guys like it enough I might write other chapters with different characters reflecting on the guilt they felt about Kurt. I'm considering it...maybe a 5/1 piece, I'm not sure. **

**This is weird for me, it started out angst-y, which I never really write, then it came out more fluffy at the end. So I guess this is flangst...yeah. **

**And don't worry, I haven't forgotten about _I've Always Known_, I'm almost done with the next chapter I've just had things come up. And then this piece just poured out of me.**

**Summary: Kurt tells Blaine that he's transferring in, guilt over not being "brave" overwhelming him. All the while, Blaine feels overwhelmed by guilt that his insistence on "courage" caused for everything in his life to fall apart. Angst beginning with a fluffy end and a slight hint at a hopeful Klaine romance.**

**R&R would be lovely!**

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The bell had just rung throughout the hallowed halls of the upper division of Dalton Academy to signal the close of the school day. Blaine, Wes, and David walked outside with the rush of students, deciding to enjoy the unseasonably nice weather before dinner and homework. They were walking towards the parking lot, where the basketball court was located, when Blaine spotted a lone figure leaning against a Lincoln Navigator. The boy had a body and face design similar to that of an elf, what with his high cheekbones and pointed chin and ears; his hair was a dark brown that set off his pale skin and blue/green eyes.

Blaine stopped in his tracks. "Kurt?" he asked, incredulously happy. The boy had been so busy with planning his dad's wedding that the two couldn't hang out, and Blaine had missed his company.

Wes and David, who had gotten a few feet ahead, came back to their friend. "Kurt!" Wes said with a laugh; though he had only talked to him directly once, he heard a lot about him through Blaine and had grown to like the boy's personality.

"Kurt, what's up man?" David added. The Dalton boys started walking towards the boy and slowly noticed his slumped shoulders, downcast eyes, and how he hadn't responded to them yet.

They reached Kurt's spot and he still hadn't looked up. Blaine gently grabbed his hand and pulled Kurt's chin up. "Kurt?" he asked. He had thought it was impossible to look more broken than Kurt did when he first admitted that Karofsky was his first kiss, but this was a different type and level of broken. "Kurt, what's wrong? Why are you here?"

Finally Kurt blinked and pulled back a bit. "Sorry, I just…well, my dad…my parents…" he looked down. "They, my parents, they…I told them I wanted to come see the school I would be attending starting tomorrow."

The boys stood in silence for a moment as the news sunk in. "Wait," Blaine said, "You're transferring here?" Kurt nodded and a few tears finally escaped from his eyes—Blaine pushed away thoughts of how no one should be able to look that stunning while crying—and gave Wes and David a look, jutting his chin in the direction of the basketball court they were walking to. The two boys nodded in response. They clapped Kurt on the shoulder and walked away to give Kurt and Blaine sometime alone.

"I'm sorry, Blaine," Kurt finally whispered. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry…" Blaine pulled him into a hug, wrapping his arms around Kurt's fragile frame and gently pushing his head onto his shoulder. Kurt collapsed into Blaine's arms, sobbing and muttering apologies.

"Sh," Blaine said, rubbing circles on his back. "It's ok, Kurt…it's ok, just let it out." The older boy, for his part, remembered days like this, when he would just crawl by his mom as soon as he got home, crying into her shoulder about the teasing and the bullying.

After several minutes, Kurt's shaking body calmed down. He moved his head back up and pulled away from the hug, wiping his eyes and nose on his hand, avoiding Blaine's eyes. "Sorry, I didn't mean to…" he started, gesturing with his hand as he searched for the proper words.

Blaine grabbed the dangling hand. "Kurt, don't worry," he said, finally getting Kurt to make eye contact. "Everyone needs time like this."

Kurt smiled at him, a small smile that actually reached his eyes. "Can we go somewhere to talk?" Blaine nodded silently and walked him to the playground of the elementary school division. They walked over and sat down on the swings; Blaine hoped that if Kurt didn't have to make eye contact he might feel freer to talk.

"So…" Kurt started, looking down at his lap. Blaine made a noise of encouragement, and suddenly the floodgates opened. The death threats, the harassment, the principal meetings, the Glee club protection, and, finally, the offer his parents made came flowing out of his mouth. It was hard to keep silent when hearing all these horrible things, but Blaine managed to do so.

"I'm sorry, but they offered to let me go here, and…" Kurt sighed, "I just couldn't say no. I _know_ I'm abandoning New Directions a week before Sectionals—and I mean, figures that I finally get offered a solo when I'm leaving—but I just couldn't handle the terror anymore. I know it's not brave it's just, I can't…I can't go back there. Not when _he's_ going to be there, even more pissed off than before." Kurt slumped forward and rubbed his temples before continuing, "I kept telling myself _Courage_, I even made a collage and put it in my locker, but I just _can't_. I'm just not brave enough. I'm sorry."

Slowly but surely, a new emotion wound through Blaine's body: guilt. He had told Kurt to have courage, to be brave, to be a better man than he was, and now Kurt felt bad because he wasn't being brave enough—well, brave enough to himself, anyways. To be honest, if he hadn't insisted on the whole "Courage" thing, they wouldn't even be in this mess. Kurt wouldn't have confronted the bully, Karofsky wouldn't have kissed him, and he wouldn't be so concerned with staying in the closet that he would feel the need to harm Kurt.

Blaine shook his head, "Kurt, why are you apologizing?" Kurt looked up at him and gaped. "You did _nothing_ wrong, Kurt, nothing at all."

"But—" Kurt started.

"Kurt, there's a difference between being brave and being stupid. If you had stayed at McKinley when you were given the chance to get out of the bad situation—a situation where you could've been _killed_—that would've been stupid. It's brave to be yourself and refuse to stop being you, but it's stupid to stay in danger, even if your intentions are noble.

"If anything, Kurt, it's my fault." Kurt tried to interrupt him but he held up his hand. "No, no, Kurt, I'm serious. If I hadn't told you to be brave and stand up for yourself, you wouldn't be in this mess. I guess I was trying to live through you and for that, I'm _extremely_ sorry."

They sat on the swings in silent for a few moments, each boy contemplating what Blaine had said.

"It's not true," Kurt said. Blaine looked up at him in surprise. "That it's all your fault. That's not true. Karofsky would've worked up to this level eventually, or I would've provoked him by losing my temper or something. There's no way that this is your fault." Kurt gave a small smile and laid his hand on top of Blaine's. "If it wasn't for you, I'd have no hope right now. You don't even realize how inspirational you are Blaine."

"Stop it," Blaine said with a smile and a swat of his hand.

"I'm serious," Kurt insisted. "Just look at how you told me you were gay; you weren't nervous and it wasn't a big deal or what defined you. I was so nervous coming out that I made being gay the only thing anyone knew about me. For you it was just a fact. You might as well have said," Kurt put on a British accent, "'my, my it looks like it'll be raining tonight, good sirs, hopefully that won't interrupt tea time. I'm a homosexual, by the way.'" Kurt mimed readjusting a monocle and the boys fell into peals of laughter.

"I swear, it's just the uniform and the pocket watch," Blaine said with a laugh, "You can't make fun of me, Kurt, since you'll be just like us tomorrow."

"You sound like a cult," Kurt remarked. They stayed in silence for a while, starting to swing slowly. "I'm going to miss them."

"I know," Blaine said. "And they'll miss you. But they're your friends, and they want you to be safe. Did anyone give any objections?"

Kurt tilted his head in thought. "Not really. I mean, Rachel asked if that meant I'd be competing against them at Sectionals, but that's her way of accepting it. Sam and Puck said they'd form a perimeter around me and protect me, but they knew their argument was weak." Kurt bit his lip. "Mercedes was crushed…"

"Hey, it won't be so bad," Blaine insisted. "You'll call and text each other, you'll get on facebook and twitter, and over the weekends you can drive back and see her. There's actually a great thrift store about halfway between here and Lima where you guys could meet up."

"Finn seemed upset," Kurt added.

"Well, had you told him beforehand?" Blaine asked. Kurt shook his head quickly. "I think he just wanted to know ahead of time, since your brothers now, you know? From what you've said—and from what Mercedes said on facebook—he just wants to be your brother and be there for you. And being left out of a big family decision like that has got to hurt." Kurt nodded and the boys continued to swing. "Mind if I ask how all your paper work managed to get through so quickly?"

"You don't know the power of one Sue Sylvester," Kurt answered simply. "And my parents gave up their honeymoon to pay, which seems to me—"

"Kurt, do _not_ go on a guilt trip about that, too," Blaine said. "Your parents love you and want you safe. Believe it or not, your safety is more important than an island getaway." Kurt gave a smile in defeat and continued swinging.

"Whatever. So I started packing and then drove here. I'll have dinner at home and finish packing before I go to bed. My parents and possibly Finn are helping me move my bags in tomorrow, then I'll go to class and try to fit in."

"Well, as long as they give you the right jacket tomorrow you'll fit right in, new kid," Blaine said with a nudge and a wink. The two shared a smile over the memory of their first meeting. The older of the two took a breath before saying, "Okay, I know we're having fun and talking and stuff…but I need to know: do you want to join the Warblers?"

Kurt stopped swinging his legs and Blaine slowed down with him. "I think…yeah. I do." Kurt snorted and pulled out his phone, "Plus, Mercedes already texted that Rachel said I needed to be on the team so you guys actually had a chance of winning."

Blaine made an overdramatic gasp and drew his hand to his heart. "She thinks we need _you_ to compete? Ah!" The two laughed and Blaine dropped his diva act. "No, but seriously, if what you and Mercedes have said is true, then you sound like a true countertenor, with an apparently impressive low range. We could use someone who could hit those notes, since, you know, most of the guys here have actually gone through puberty." Kurt hit him on the arm but soon joined him in his laughter. "In all honesty, though, I'll make sure our coach takes you in; I have connections and we need your voice."

"Thanks."

"No problem, I'll tell him at our night rehearsal we have later," Blaine responded with a shrug. Suddenly he got a mischievous glint in his eye. "I bet I can swing higher than you."

Kurt raised an eyebrow at him. "Really, now? Really? You're going to try to compete with me, the man who single handedly won the first football game McKinley had won for years because of my _kicking_ prowess, in an activity that is all about legwork?" Blaine raised an eyebrow back. "Fine, it's not like I can say no to those eyebrows. Just be prepared to lose."

"AND GO!" Blaine yelled while he pushed off before Kurt could get ready.

"Not fair!" Kurt yelled with a laugh, quickly catching up to him. The two pumped their legs with the sound of their laughter keeping them company. Eventually they reached the same height and hit a plateau, unable to go higher.

"Yo, you two!" Blaine and Kurt turned their heads to see Wes and David at the playground's gate. "We thought we should show Mr. Smith the Spy here where his classes will be."

"Just a minute!" Kurt yelled. Blaine started slowing down to come to a stop, getting lower and lower each swing. But Kurt, always one for a big finish, swung a few more times before launching himself out of the swing, landing in a crouch. He quickly jumped up and brushed off his outfit before bowing to Wes and David, who were clapping at his jump.

"9.7!" Wes yelled, miming holding a sign.

"9.9!" David added.

"Thank you, boys," Kurt said as he walked over to them.

Blaine pouted a bit as he walked over, "I could've done that."

"Sure you could've, Blaine," Wes said, throwing his arm around Kurt's shoulder. "_Sure_ you could've." David threw his arm around Kurt's shoulders as well, successfully blocking Blaine from any contact.

"Hey, guys, play nice with Blaine," Kurt said as they started walking towards the school. "He's just jealous, that's no reason to be rude to him."

Blaine followed after them and smiled as Wes and David made Kurt laugh. Whether Kurt realized it or not, he already had a home at Dalton. And if this made Kurt happy, which it seemed to, then Blaine had no reason to feel guilty.


End file.
